The Reality of Child Abuse

Last night I watched Georgia Rule. I really enjoyed it from beginning to end. Like so many of Garry Marshall's films it was witty and funny and poignant all at the same time.

It handled the tragedy of Child Sexual abuse in a sensitive manner and it covered the issue from three view points, the Daughter's, the Mother's and the Grandmother's. It was unusual in handling it that way and to try to address it as more than a 2 hour fix it issue.

As good as it all was it was very unrealistic in how it handled the end... mostly because it went with the happy ending. I know, everyone loves a happy ending but really these are not the things that happen to children of sexual abuse. You dream of them happening like that but they don't. You want your mom to go beat the bastard up and stand up for you and leave the guy but that is not what happens. Mostly because you are too busy protecting your Mom from the reality of what is happening to you... but even when she finds out she usually believes the guy.
Not only believes him but you become the competition even though you don't want the attention. Usually you are called a liar and told that somehow you could have stopped it oh and that you made it all up in your head, You are crazy...

For myself I could deal with all that.... Yes it hurt but what hurt the most was when my own daughters were the same age as I was when it all started and I looked at them and knew what the bastard did to me and how it wasn't all my fault and that he was a creep and he was the one completely responsible. I say this because you usually blame yourself... It is all your fault.. you brought it on to yourself... never mind it is something you would never dream up in a thousand years.

Well I did like that there was a happy ending in the movie that it had the ending I dreamed of for years. The ending I never got.

And I was appreciative of Mr Marshall's sensitive handling of the subject. That he even made the effort as it is not the kind of movie Hollywood puts out.

It left me crying at the end... sad that I never got that happy ending with my family.

What did I get? I got a loving and wonderful sensitive husband and two beautiful daughters.. Who have had the life I never got. I got the life I made for myself by looking for healing and forgiveness and peace. The life I always wanted... is it perfect ? No but I am one of the lucky ones... I found healing and I found peace and I found freedom from all of it.

Yes I still cry and hurt and anguish over it, but not every day. Most days I reveal in who I am and where I have taken myself.

I think of it as God's reward after all the pain of childhood. He didn't send the pain he helped me make it through the pain and gave me the words and strength and sent people (the right people) to help me heal and move on.

So I guess really I got a happy ending too. Just not the one with my Mom. The one I dreamed of for eighteen years until the day I moved out, and embarked on the adventure of making my own life.

The First Post- for Teho, Yep bleentastic.

Normally when I comment on blogs I try to think up some clever saying if I happen to be lucky enough to get to be the first post. Since most of my posts are on Cute overload this is very hard. Lots of other folks are waiting to get that first post too.

Now some people like to yell out FIRST. but Teho who is the moderator of the blog says that is stupid and he made up this word Bleen. Well folks use it all the time instead of first and they even try to cleverly use it like bleenatude or bleentastic.. Kind of as a taunt, and I gotta say Teho if you ever see this... it is kind of funny when they do it. Who am I kidding it is hilarious when they use it. Even better is they use it alot of times and don't understand the irony of it. or why Teho hates that thye yell out FIRST.

Well here it is in a nutshell.
when a lot of people are replying or commenting on a blog it can become this synergetic(is that a word?) thing and gain a life of it's own, with everyones' brainwaves feeding off of and inspiring each other until it is this funny or cute or witty masterpiece and by saying first or the ever present bleen you waste a golden oppertunity to start one of these.

So here is to you Teho who has inspired me to aspire to be a creative, witty or comic first poster.